Thoughts

Well our youth conference is over and I feel it was an amazing success. I heard a comment from a young man that if summer camp will be as good as youth conference was, he will be very happy. We had a theme of Samuel the Lamanite. Each morning, we read a chapter of his teachings to the Nephites and then discussed what happened. Then at the end of the night, we had a devotional. I though they were very good, a place where the Spirit was to teach everybody. Then this past Sunday we had BYC. We talked about the past few days. All of the youth loved it and wished it was longer. One of their favorite parts was the devotionals and they wanted more. I suggested we do monthly firesides and they decided to do it. I felt so good and happy about how it turned out. I do have to say I had one of the best times that I can remember and I will never forget it. I love the youth in our ward and want them to be as happy as I am now. I have also been thinking lately of Joseph Smith. We are coming close to the anniversary of his martyrdom. Tonight, I listened to some music about Joseph. There are two songs that I had to listen to multiple times because of the messages. The first was "Brother I'll Follow You". It is about the relationship between Joseph and Hyrum. What an amazing thing to strive for. I hope I can say my sons are the same as the two of them. The next song was "Lamb To The Slaughter". It is about the statement Joseph made to Hyrum as he was going to die. There is one part in it that I particularly like. He says "I've lived for my Savior and I'll die for him too". The song is very good and very touching. I am very grateful to Joseph for the sacrifices he made so I can have the great experiences I had last week. I have become more committed to doing my best and not complaining because I have been extremely blessed. I love the gospel and what it does for me. I believe life is meant to learn and grow and to have fun while we do it. The Gospel shows us the way to have as much fun as possible while still keeping the Spirit with us. I think I may be rambling but that could be because it is late. Thanks for listening.

Why?

I was wondering why it feels that most of the time, I get stuck with making sure things get done? I wish other people would sometimes step up and do it. I wait to give them time and ask others but in the end, I have to do it and there isn't time left to do it because I have waited so long. I would like to just let some things fall to see if others will help me pick it up. I don't mind doing things for others and making things happen, but once in a while I would like to have some time off. I think I am in need of a vacation. Katie, lets go to Hawaii or on a cruise and leave everything behind for a week. I do enjoy my calling but it is sometimes difficult to keep up with everything.

Spring

Well today after my final presentation in my class, I came home and worked in the yard. I have big plans for the things I would like to do in my garden. I want tomatoes, strawberries, zucchini, watermelon, peppers, and some herbs. If all goes to plan, I will be eating a homemade strawberry vinaigrette in late August or early September. I am very excited. Also, I want my yard to be as green as Augusta National. How much do you think that will cost? Just all summer doing one of my favorite things, caring for lawns. Also, I would like to make my yummy food in a new kitchen that I hope to be putting in in a few months. If you want to help, you are welcome.

More questions

I now that doing the right thing and living according to how the Lords requires us is the most important part, and that people are attracted to those who have that spirit with them, but I still wonder why it feels I don't have a lot of friends. Maybe it means I am not living my life the way I am supposed too, or not doing enough to get that spirit in my life more often. I would like to think I am living as best as I can. I am not upset that I don't have tons of friends always calling and wanting to do stuff because I do have some. And I always have my wonderful buddy, Katie. We went on a trip over the Christmas holiday and I had such a great time just spending the time with her. I was thinking the other day that we as members of the church are sometimes too critical of ourselves. People make mistakes and they repent, but it is hard sometimes to forgive yourself. I don't know why I think about this, but I do, it may be because I need to focus more on forgiving myself. The main question I have is more of a rhetorical question, not one that can or should be answered by others. What can I do in my life to have the spirit with me even more? What are the things I need to do in order to have that "glow" that can be seen in those who have been born of God? Do I even have it yet, or is there a lot more that I need to be doing? I am not sure of the answers, but based on the statement I made about people being too critical of themselves, I would say I am doing better than I give myself credit for. It just sometimes I would like to be told that I am doing what I need to be doing and that I have that "glow". But I guess I should be praying and asking for that comfort when I have these questions. Just a few more questions and thoughts I have had the past little while.