Thursday, January 7, 2010
More questions
I now that doing the right thing and living according to how the Lords requires us is the most important part, and that people are attracted to those who have that spirit with them, but I still wonder why it feels I don't have a lot of friends. Maybe it means I am not living my life the way I am supposed too, or not doing enough to get that spirit in my life more often. I would like to think I am living as best as I can. I am not upset that I don't have tons of friends always calling and wanting to do stuff because I do have some. And I always have my wonderful buddy, Katie. We went on a trip over the Christmas holiday and I had such a great time just spending the time with her. I was thinking the other day that we as members of the church are sometimes too critical of ourselves. People make mistakes and they repent, but it is hard sometimes to forgive yourself. I don't know why I think about this, but I do, it may be because I need to focus more on forgiving myself. The main question I have is more of a rhetorical question, not one that can or should be answered by others. What can I do in my life to have the spirit with me even more? What are the things I need to do in order to have that "glow" that can be seen in those who have been born of God? Do I even have it yet, or is there a lot more that I need to be doing? I am not sure of the answers, but based on the statement I made about people being too critical of themselves, I would say I am doing better than I give myself credit for. It just sometimes I would like to be told that I am doing what I need to be doing and that I have that "glow". But I guess I should be praying and asking for that comfort when I have these questions. Just a few more questions and thoughts I have had the past little while.
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Two things.
ReplyDelete1. Sometimes, when you're doing what's right, you don't have a lot of friends. I struggled with that a little growing up and my parents often told me that when you're doing what is right, often, you are alone.
2. The end of this post reminded me of an experience I shared in my Relief Society lesson. In a recent conference address by President Eyring, he says that "love is the motivating factor" for people to do what is right. When I was 18 and headed off to WSU, I received a Father's Blessing and I was told of the great love that my Father in Heaven had for me, and that He was proud of the choices I was making and the things I was doing in my life. I have often thought about that. Almost weekly since then. There were times that I knew I wasn't doing all that I should and I needed help, but I didn't want a Father's Blessing because I didn't want to NOT be told how much He loved me. I try to do the things that I know will make the Lord proud of me, because that love I felt filled my sould. Head to toe I was completely filled with that love. Never forgotten that. I think you have to reflect on the times in your life when you have felt that love, and remember that Heavenly Father still and always will, love you.
I love you!
I agree with what Katie said. I also think you need to look at where you are in your life right now. You work full time and go to school full time. It is not like you have a lot of time to be out meeting and hanging out with new people. I think that you are a lot of fun to be around and people genuinely like you...plus, I am pretty sure you have that glow. :)
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